Intown Rundown: Feeling lucky

It’s St. Patrick’s Day, the one day per year when everyone is Irish and it’s completely acceptable to start with a beer at breakfast and continue for as long as you can stand. Whether or not you have the luck of the Irish, in the wake of the tragedy still continuing to unfold in Japan, there’s good reason to feel lucky just to be alive. Get out there and celebrate -- just don’t overdo it.

WHAT’S HAPPENING

- Your Irish revelry needn’t come with a DWI. The Shamrock Shuttle will be running from 3 p.m. to 1 a.m. on St. Patrick’s Day. The free shuttle service between Dunkirk and Fredonia is sponsored by Dunkirk Lakeside Club, Dunkirk Exempt’s Firemen’s Club, Rookie’s Sports Bar, 41 West, Coughlan’s Pub, Lil McGills, Muldoon’s and Heenan’s. The shuttle will stop at each bar hourly to drop off and pick up any celebrant that needs a ride, starting at Rookie’s at 3 p.m.

- If corned beef and cabbage is what you seek, here’s a couple of the many places serving it today: the Columbus Club in Dunkirk and Liberty’s Cafe in Fredonia.

- The First Ward Falcon Club is having a benefit for the Dunkirk Pet Pantry on Saturday, with live music by Passion Works, karaoke and raffles. The party gets started at 6 p.m.

- There will be live music at 41 West each night this weekend, with Last Call from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. and Rinky Dink from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m.

- The Kosciuszko Club will have live music by BOS on Saturday from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m.

- It’s all about movies at the Fredonia Opera House this weekend. The Native American Film Festival, presented by Jamestown Community College, is on Friday at 8 p.m., with a special screening of the film “Reel Injun” and a performance by hoop dancer Kevin Locke. Admission is free. Academy Award-winning juggernaut “The King’s Speech” will be shown as the Opera House as part of its Cinema Series on Saturday at 8 p.m. and Tuesday at 7:30 p.m.

- Celebrate the first day of spring and the official release of Southern Tier’s Hop Sun Summer Wheat Beer on Hop Sun(Day), held from noon to 6 p.m. on Sunday at the Empty Pint, located at Southern Tier Brewery in Jamestown.

GET OUT OF TOWN

The creators of the Cage Match 'zine are having a release party on Saturday at Sugar City in Buffalo. Cage Match is a self-published book that features a variety of art work from a number of contributors. The project is a collaborative effort between Joshua Almendinger, Nick Almendinger, Mike Avery, Courtney Brent, Dylan England, Chris Fritton, Bobby Griffiths, Amy Hartman, Charles Martin, Dan Morris, Frank Napolski and Ian Wiedrick. Avery and England are graduates of SUNY Fredonia. There will also be an art show featuring work from the various artists at the party. The event starts at 6 p.m. and is free. Sugar City is located at 19 Wadsworth St.

REEL TALK: “Red Riding Hood”

How bad could a film adaptation of a classic fairy tale be? To put it simply: so, so bad. The only compliment I can come up with for “Red Riding Hood” is that it was hilarious – it’s guaranteed to be funnier than Jennifer Aniston’s latest film. Unfortunately, “Red Riding Hood” wasn’t intentionally comedic.

From start to finish, it was a hot mess. Fairy tales are always vague about the logistical details – “Once upon a time, in a land far, far away” will do – but the movie’s nondescript time period was not helping its case. Most of the menfolk had coifs more suitable for the set of “Twilight” – a trademark of director Catherine Hardwicke, perhaps? – and Red Riding Hood’s mother (Virginia Madsen) appeared to have had a considerable amount of work done. The only explanation I can muster is that she must have whittled herself a needle and found some Botox in that enchanted, werewolf-ridden forest. Improbable hair gel and plastic surgery aside, the problem with the ambiguous setting never became more apparent than in the scene where the villagers have a raucous, booze-fueled celebration. Those idiosyncratic dance moves couldn’t be considered right in any century.

Just like the dancing, the entire movie lacked rhythm. Every turn of the plot felt completely random. I suppose this is what happens when you try to turn a child’s fable into a misguided gothic horror film. It’s unfathomable how some respectable actors ended up in this atrocity. Did Gary Oldman and Julie Christie get cast in this after an ill-fated night of gambling with the producer? Up-and-comer Amanda Seyfreid needs to steer clear of catastrophes like these if she wants to get that pretty face of hers a role in an award-worthy film.

Please, take my advice -- avoid “Red Riding Hood” like you would a wolf dressed in grandmother’s clothing.

WATCH THIS

- Speaking of Jennifer Aniston and horror films that are unintentionally funny, “Leprechaun” will be on SyFy at 11 p.m. tonight.

- Another opportunity to have a laugh while enjoying green beer and a Reuben on this St. Patrick’s Day: Kathy Griffin’s new stand-up special, appropriately titled “50 & Not Pregnant,” will be on Bravo at 9 p.m.

- Because we can’t stop watching Charlie Sheen implode, TLC has thrown together an hour-long documentary about his demise, “Charlie Sheen: On the Brink” set to air Sunday at 10 p.m.

- On Sunday, our favorite fictional Mormon family will ride off into the sunset. The series finale of “Big Love” will be on HBO at 9 p.m.

April Diodato is the OBSERVER Lifestyles editor. Send comments to adiodato@observertoday.com