Cheers to 'Liz and Dick'

After months of anticipation, a few run-ins with the law, an abandoned interview with Barbara Walters, a lot of buzz and much ado, the time has come. At long last, tonight is the premiere of the Lifetime original movie, “Liz and Dick,” starring Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor.

Ever since the “Liz and Dick” project was first announced, I’ve been looking forward to this. I love Elizabeth Taylor and am fascinated by her decades-long love affair with Richard Burton; I thoroughly enjoyed the book detailing their relationship, “Furious Love: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, and the Marriage of the Century.” I also wouldn’t dare miss Lindsay Lohan’s latest attempt at a “comeback,” even though the writing’s on the wall that this one will probably pan out like the rest of them – with more legal trouble, bad reviews and horrible choices to follow.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I still just want Lohan to pull it together. I realize that it’s long been a moot point, but she showed so much promise in the early days – namely in the “The Parent Trap,” “Freaky Friday” and Mean Girls.” Unfortunately, it’s been eight years since “Mean Girls,” and she’s accrued more mug shots than plum roles in that duration. In an interview with Jay Leno on Tuesday, Lohan said that she is “still a kid, in a way,” which might be what she’s telling herself in order to avoid taking responsibility for her actions. Also during her promotional junket for “Liz and Dick,” she told “Good Morning America” on Nov. 16, “I like to learn from my mistakes.” Oh, Lindsay – is this like the time you said you weren’t driving your Porsche when it crashed into an 18-wheeler? (In case you haven’t heard, the judge is likely to revoke Lohan’s probation in an upcoming hearing for lying to a police officer about her car accident in June).

What she needs is some tough love. (I’m sure people have tried). If she were actually willing to listen, someone should tell her, just like in “Black Swan,” “The only person standing in your way is you.” She’ll have this grand epiphany, cut off all contact with her crazy stage parents and ne’er-do-well hangers-on, stop injecting fillers into her lips and face (should I say "allegedly?"), never operate a motor vehicle ever again, attend regular meetings of Shoplifters Anonymous and get a sponsor, avoid nightclubs and all forms of substance abuse, devote all of her time to studying her craft and performing, select her roles carefully, show up to the set every day on time, and bam! She could turn things around. Given her track, record, though, I’d say this is unlikely.

Lifetime has really been trying to sell “Liz and Dick” as the premiere date approached. Executive Producer Larry Thompson called Lohan’s performance “truly riveting,” and that “the audience is going to benefit from the risk we took and the reward that was gained.” Advance reviews of the TV movie have largely claimed the opposite. The first one I read, a scathing piece by The Hollywood Reporter that came out the same day as her “Good Morning America” interview, said that it was made for drinking games. That might be a good idea. If you simply took a sip every time Liz and Dick did onscreen, by the end of it, you might be so dizzy and visually impaired that you might find the performances believable.

“Liz and Dick” starts at 9 p.m. tonight on Lifetime. Bottoms up.