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Golden Globes redux
January 14, 2013 - April Diodato
Can Tina Fey and Amy Poehler co-host everything from now on? Award shows are typically an excruciatingly boring and lengthy endeavor, but I kept watching just to see who the duo would zing next. It was consistently funny, with just the right amount of saltiness; I hope Seth MacFarlane was taking notes. Some highlights: the ladies “drunkenly” came onstage brandishing glasses of bourbon following their loss to Lena Dunham in the Best Actress in a TV or Musical category while mocking Taylor Swift's relentless serial monogamy (Taylor, you should really take Tina's advice – a little “me time” couldn't hurt); the ladies noted that Meryl Streep had the flu and “heard she was really good in it,” and regarding “Zero Dark Thirty” director Kathryn Bigelow, Poehler quipped that “when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who was married for three years to James Cameron."
For those who skipped the ceremony in favor of “Downton Abbey” and the season premiere of “Girls,” but still wish to contribute to the Globes water cooler conversation (2013 translation: Internet commentary), I'll break it down for you.
Most Likely To Be De-Friended By His Co-Stars: Sacha Baron Cohen may find that he has four fewer Facebook friends following his roast of his “Les Miserables” cast mates, including jibes about Anne Hathaway's embarrassing exposure at the movie's New York premiere, Russell Crowe's mediocre singing, how Helena Bonham Carter really scored her role, and calling Hugh Jackman “Jackson” instead. I suppose he could blame it on the brandy he was clutching – the Golden Globes are a notoriously boozy affair.
Today's Hot Topic: Jodie Foster's kind-of bizarre, mostly moving, sort-of “coming out” speech during her acceptance of the Cecil B. DeMille Award, which touched on everything from Honey Boo Boo to her friendship with Mel Gibson, insinuating plans for retirement (she later clarified she wasn't going anywhere) and making a plea for privacy. I tend to agree with this statement she made on the subject: “Someday, in the future, people will look back and remember how beautiful (privacy) once was.” The Internet has made it such an antiquated notion.
Best Award Presentation, Possibly Ever: After claiming that they had to watch each nominated film in the Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical category, Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig gave hilariously inaccurate descriptions of each one; I included the link to the video on the right. The only person who was thoroughly unimpressed was Tommy Lee Jones – apparently, he does not like jokes.
Red Carpet Style Star: I'm sure Jennifer Lawrence isn't complaining, but it's gotta be tough to come up with enough outstanding gowns to last the entire awards season when you're nominated for just about everything. Jennifer has looked consistently great, with only a couple of bad notes throughout it all. I hope she's saved the best for last!
Most In Need Of A Pre-Oscars Sartorial Intervention: One of the night's big winners, Jessica Chastain – a frontrunner in the Oscars Best Actress race – failed to wow us with her ill-fitting, seafoam green gown, slicked-back hair and unflattering makeup. Surely, it can't be difficult to make her look good; she is such a beautiful woman, with some of the most enviable natural red locks in Hollywood. I see snaps of her walking down the street looking impeccable virtually every day on the web, but there's often something amiss with her red carpet looks. Jessica, fire your stylish and start fresh – you want to look incredible while you're accepting your Academy Award. (I think the only two ladies who have a shot at stealing Chastain's thunder are Jennifer Lawrence and Quvenzhané Wallis). Consult Jennifer Hudson in the meantime.
Top 12 Best Dressed: Jennifer Lawrence, Claire Danes, Amy Adams, Jennifer Garner, Anne Hathaway, Tina Fey, Adele, Isla Fisher, Megan Fox, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, Francesca Eastwood and Hayden Panettiere.
Top 12 Worst Dressed: Jessica Chastain, Marion Cotillard, Halle Berry, Kerry Washington, Kate Hudson, Sienna Miller, Eva Longoria, Anna Gunn, Emily Blunt, Lucy Liu, Olivia Munn and Helen Mirren.