Linda Joyce (Barnes) Pacos

Linda has an illustrious resume, including telephone operator (in which she would run to the ‘sign out’ book to leave early and host parties at her house), cafeteria aid, beach bum, school bus monitor (this was one of her favorite jobs, she loved being with the kids who shared their own personal challenges with Linda), child and teen chauffer, PTA member, lifeguard, hostess with the mostess, Cardiac Rehab volunteer, professional people watcher, Girl Scout leader, party planner, Las Vegas casino Player Club member (a member to ALL the casinos with the recent additions to Cherokee, Danville and Seneca Allegany Resort and Casino-BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY!), pet owner to a variety of animals, camper extraordinaire, Disney expert, and her greatest, proudest role, “Grandma” to her 3 amazing grandchildren, Aniella, Lily and Kaz Pacos.

We all have memories of Linda. As a maker of lifelong friends, there are stories that could go on forever — Moniuszko Club Mystery Bus Tours, Buffalo Bills tailgating with frozen feet, hands and beer, out of town hockey tournaments, pool parties, Las Vegas ‘Conventions’, bowling tournaments, beach vacations, 2-day parties, happy hours, Costco and BJ expeditions, and local and international surprise visits.

Imagine this, three women and 4 children, (the only male is a 5yo boy) camping up and down the East Coast. Boy, talk about the shit show produced by Linda and her sister, Audrey (Barnes) Ressis, of Rochester, NY, with their mom, Thelma (Ahrens) Barnes (deceased) and Carrie Ressis (niece). There are countless moments of chaos, natural and family disasters, laughter, sightseeing, speeding tickets, games, rain-soaked belongings, camp fires, all of which created life long memories, but none of which were appreciated by her spoiled children (certainly Linda’s doing) until many years after.

Linda cherished every moment she spent with her grandchildren, whether it was sitting quietly watching a movie or running wildly through Walt Disney World for a Fast Pass. As a grandma, she learned a lot from her grandchildren. Linda reconnected with books, often reading to them before nap and bed times. As they got older, she learned how to navigate social media, knew all about Taylor Swift (Linda was also a fan and took her grandchildren to more than one concert), Roblox, make-up applications and what was ‘cool’ or ‘not cool’. The ‘not cool’ was easily defined by a pronounced, “Grandma!”, eye roll, head shake, and giggle.

Linda often picked up Kaz from school and upon her return, she would always say, “I learn so much from him!” She loved this precious time with Kaz sharing the fascinating facts he learned that day. They often would go on ‘adventures’ to explore “Where does that car go every day?” and fulfill their strange curiosity of the people they would see on their daily route. They became their own private investigators.

Lily, “Oh Lily, her eyes speak volumes” would be the common sentiment. Linda appreciated Lily’s more quiet and introverted nature. She always knew when Lily was thinking of something. Lily is keen and intelligent and therefore was able to get her way with her grandma, no matter how hard Linda resisted.

They’d go on their own adventures of playgrounds and sneaking through ‘new build’ homes. Linda was also impressed and jealous of Lily’s natural grace in high heels at the tender age of 2. Lily may be the only Pacos woman who has grace.

Her first grandchild, Aniella, was just that, her first. Linda had a new found love that is indescribable. It allowed her to transfer her amazing mothering skills and abilities to the new role of Grandma. Aniella has always been a happy child. She is personable, talkative and brave, just like Linda. Throughout

Aniella’s life, she had to school her grandma. Telling her the difference between a ‘snack’, NOT ‘nap’ which was further explained and made clear to Linda by Aniella’s shout of “I want grapes!”, to explaining technology, introducing her to tik tok, the current lingo, acronyms and their meanings.

Linda was constantly tested by her grandchildren, with the constant begging to stop at Chick-fil-A or Sheetz after school (take a guess who won those battles), the endless, nonsensical ramblings of young children, the threats Grandma will pull over if they misbehaved (and she actually did it!), or having to listen to the music of a completely different generation … Linda wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Linda was a Sports Fan. She loved every sport, “Go Bills!”. Her love of sports was introduced to her at a young age by her father, Daniel Barnes (deceased). Linda would watch golf, baseball, hell, even bowling.

Even though Linda lived in Dunkirk until 1999, she stayed a loyal Buffalo Bills fan. However, since her new home was in Fuquay-Varina, NC, she did convert from a Sabres fan to a Carolina Hurricanes fan and even had season tickets for a few years — such shame! She had the privilege to attend 3 of the 4 Super Bowls (we all know how that turned out ) and the Stanley Cup Championship game of the Carolina Hurricanes in 2006. Towards the end of her life, she was able to muster the energy to make it to the Raleigh NHL Winter Classic.

Linda valued the annual holiday gatherings with family including several nieces and nephews and the expansion of their families. Linda was able to spend the first half of her adulthood with the Barnes family, including her niece Kathie (Barnes) Parke, Robbie Barnes and Steve Barnes (deceased) and the latter half with the Pacos’. She was creative during Christmas; she made her kids work for her thoughtful and generous gifts by having them figure out the ‘code’ to decipher whose gifts are whose.

Linda was an avid reader, she could “kinda” cook, laundry was not her friend, loved Maya Angelou and Eminem, a teacher of unconditional love, and was a great supervisor, not laborer. So that leads us to ‘Command Central’. Linda always had to be in the know. She held down the fort from her strategically placed Lazy Boy recliner. Nothing was getting past Linda, not Jim sneaking a nip of moonshine, not Jamie going out for a cigarette break, not Heather stealing supplies from the garage, not Bev trying to clean up the kitchen. No matter who was there and what they were up to, the demand of “Sit down and just come visit with me!” was given.

It’s a bit apropos that Linda literally died from a large heart. Those who know her know she had one of the largest hearts around. She loved, laughed, accepted, appreciated, and embraced everyone, no matter who you are or where you came from.

Linda was often the life of the party and was probably the last one to leave any party. Please join us in celebrating Linda.

There will be a viewing and service held at the Browne-Wynne Funeral Home in Cary, NC on October 21, 2023 starting at 1p and service being held at 2p.

The Pacos family would also like to give deep thanks to the entire Duke LVAD team and staff, ranging from the gentle people delivering her hospital meals, to the knowledgeable, committed and loving nurses and therapists of all sorts, to the brilliant cardiac specialists and surgeon. The family would also like to give thanks and hugs to the wonderful support they have received from Transitions Hospice.

Flowers will be accepted, however in lieu of flowers please donate to the American Heart Association or a children’s charity of your choice. Thank you.

Lastly, there will be a celebration of life ceremony to be held in Dunkirk, NY in 2024.