Does anyone make New Year’s resolutions anymore? Most people I talk to don’t bother. Maybe we finally realized that resolutions were merely words… words without action plans.

I think I must have spent 40 years making resolutions about weight loss. Many of those Januarys, I actually joined Weight Watchers. I put my money down and showed up religiously every single week – right up until February.

I never ran out of enthusiasm for the program during the first three weeks. And each year I actually did lose weight. Some years it was an amazing four pounds. But during really dedicated Januarys, complete with keeping food diaries, I managed to shed almost seven pounds! Let’s just say the pursuit never made it to Valentine’s Day.

As I asked some friends recently about making resolutions, the most common response was, “I gave up doing that years ago.” I then asked a few what their resolutions had been about. The variety was large, and eye-opening:

“I’m was going to work hard at cleaning up my language. The kids were picking up words that both of us were upset about. My wife started a fee jar for every time I slipped up. A few months down the road, I think we went out to a fancy dinner when she emptied the jar. Then he said, “But I had to clean up my damn profanity.”

One friend said, “I promised myself I was going to make it to church more often. I wanted to do it for my kids – and for myself.”

“For years, I pledged that I would cut down on the booze. Every year that I decided to ease up, I didn’t do too well. But then Lent would come along, not much after the end of January, and I’d get really serious. Lent is a better time to give up something. New Year’s is a better time to improve things.” I was amazed at some of the personal philosophies I heard.

“I did make resolutions for a few years when I had young children. I would give them more time and be more patient. By the time they were teenagers, they took all the time and patience I had. I didn’t have to make a promise to myself – I just lived my resolution everyday.”

It was an interesting “study.” So much insight into how people felt they failed themselves – or the standards that they set for their best behavior. I think a lot of us impose guilt on ourselves during our lifetimes. And then, as we reach the ages of older, wiser, and life experienced, we know better. We’ve lived with all the angst. The worry. Maybe it is as simple as, “Been there, done that, not doing it anymore.”

Personally, I’ll always try to improve some little thing or two. There is so much to choose from. For example, I’m not really good at laundry. Oh, I know how to launder perfectly well – I just hate doing it. This year, I think 2025 might see a lowering of laundry basket levels in our house. We’ll see after I finish the six sets of bedding from Christmas, plus towels, and napkins. That’ll be the test. Actually, I’m sort of looking forward to it just to get everything back to normal. We’ll see.

I made a promise to myself in recent years. One that has been relatively easy to keep, and as a bonus it has improved the quality of my life. I think it was around retirement time that I decided I wasn’t going to put up with nasty people anymore. As my years grow long, my tolerance for meanness has grown short. I no longer allow them in. A true friend is kind.

I resolved to add more kindness in my life. In both directions, in and out. I have been blessed with many kind people and love adding new ones.

Kindness is one of those free things that can be added in large quantities without a high price tag. Maybe just picking up the phone and saying hi. Or taking a double handful of cookies to a shut-in. I’m resolving to practice small kindnesses more.

Kindness should really be our only New Year’s agenda. Our country has been pretty fractured for the past few years. Think how 2025 could be if we all were simply nicer to each other. What would it take? Could congress pass a kindness bill? Fuggedaboudit. They probably couldn’t agree on it.

Maybe all of us can make the simple resolution – to Be Kind out there.

Happy New Year everyone.

Marcy O’Brien writes from her home in Warren, Pa.